Well everyone, it's been ... an experience.

And now it's over. Yes, my last real tie to Dubai is back in the States and sleeping in the room next door. Liz got home safely this morning.

So I think we're done here.

If you'd like to join me over at the creatively named joshedwards.com to follow us on our continuing adventures, that'd be cool.

If not, well salāmu `alaykum.

Go with peace.

So tomorrow marks the closing ceremony of these Summer Olympics. Well, I know this says I'm posting on "Sunday" but here in the States it's still "Saturday". Although with the time zones, does that mean the closing ceremony is "Monday" for me?

Gah, I'm so bad at all of this time travel.

Anyway, here are two stories about the Olympics that tie to us. First up is the crazily-titled AFP story run in the Khaleej Times:

UAE shaikha kicked in her face in Olympic taekwondo debut

And that's bad ... right?

Sorry, I don't know much about taekwondo.

I do know one thing - the article mislabels Shaikha Maitha as "a member of the Gulf country's ruling royal family".

Technically wouldn't you say that she's "a member of one of the Gulf country's ruling royal families"? Her father is His Highness Sheikh Mohammed Bin Rashid Al Maktoum, Vice-President and Prime Minister of the United Arab Emirates and Ruler of Dubai.

(Sorry to do his whole title, but I won't have many more chances to do that here!)

So she's a Maktoum - but they're hardly the only ruling family. You also got the Nahyans, the Nuaimis, the Sharqis, the Qasimis, the other Qasimis and the Mu`allas.

Anyway, she has some great quotes in the whole "it's an honor to be nominated" vein. The South Korean kicker has some nice quotes, too.

Wow. Taekwondo appears to be very civilized. I mean, especially for a sport that literally translates to: "the way of the fist and foot".

Anyway, in other Olympic-related-to-Josh-and-Liz-news, the tiny island nation of Mauritius earned their first Olympic medal ever.

You might remember Mauritius from our honeymoon.

We got back to Dubai from that trip two years ago yesterday.

Well, two years ago yesterday when I'm writing this, which is Friday.

I mean, I'm writing this on Saturday but ... aw, forget it.

This has nothing whatsoever to do with Dubai, sorry, but but some of you might be interested in today's Los Angeles Times article about the ambiguity of Mickey Mouse's copyright.

Somewhere in Burbank there's a roomful of Disney lawyers having the worst Friday of their lives.

Ooh! Forbes is at it again with a new list of The World's Richest Royals!

For those of you who are too lazy to click the link, here's the list (with Dubai's Sheikh Mo rocking the five-spot):

1) King Bhumibol Adulyadej
(Thailand) - $35 billion

2) Sheikh Khalifa Bin Zayed Al Nahyan
(UAE - Abu Dhabi) - $23 billion

3) King Abdullah bin Abdul Aziz
(The Kingdom of Saudi Arabia) - $21 billion

4) Sultan Haji Hassanal Bolkiah
(Brunei) - $20 billion

5) Sheikh Mohammed bin Rashid Al Maktoum
(UAE - Dubai) - $18 billion

6) Prince Hans-Adam II von und zu Liechtenstein
(Liechtenstein) - $5 billion

7) Sheikh Hamad bin Khalifa Al Thani
(Qatar) - $2 billion

8) King Mohammed VI
(Morocco) - $1.5 billion

9) Prince Albert II
(Monaco) - $1.4 billion

10) Sultan Qaboos bin Said
(Oman) - $1.1 billion

For the record, in March it was estimated that Warren Buffett is the richest person in the world with $62 billion. A Mexican telecommunications magnate, Carlos Slim Helú, is number two with $60 billion.

Which means that Bill Gates is only the third richest with $58 billion.

Poor Bill. However, maybe if Windows Vista wasn't such a vistaster he'd be up a little higher ...

So I generally don't read the gossipy Dubai blogs, but for some reason I just checked over at Secret Dubai Diary.

Their most recent story (from last week) is that former Baywatch actress / Playboy bunny / Rocker Wife Pamela Anderson is now dating a member of Abu Dhabi's royal family.

Sheikha Pamela

That is a perfect relationship. Totally mutually beneficial. Both sides are bringing something to the table, and both sides get to live out some cheesey romance novel storyline.

As my buddy Nate would say, "Everybody plays, everybody wins".

Good for them.

Today's The National tells us that the Dubai Metro Red Line is finished from Al Rashidiya to Jebel Ali. The Red Line follows Sheikh Zayed Road the whole 52 kilometers (32 miles).

Dubai hits Red Line milestone for metro

The Metro will open in September of 2009 and will have the capacity to carry 27,000 passengers per hour in each direction.

However, whether anyone will actually ride it is anyone's guess.

My guess?

No. Nobody will ride it.

This is a happy article: Mangrove species flourishes in the United Arab Emirates after a century of local extinction.

I don't know a whole lot about mangrove trees, what with their sensitivity to freezing temperatures, but it's nice that there are folks in the UAE doing some nice things for the environment.

Huh, look at this: U. of California Provost Heads to United Arab Emirates.

The UC system is freaking huge, with something like 190,000 students in it. It's also fairly prestigious - six of its ten campuses are ranked in the top 50 U.S. universities by U.S. News and World Report.

The thing that I don't get is this description from the article: "United Arab Emirates University, the Persian Gulf nation’s premier research institution" - personally I'd never even heard of UAEU until this article.

In fact, do people even call it UAEU? I'm being a bit presumptuous to even assume that!

And frankly, the wikipedia post leaves a little to be desired, too ...

But the funniest thing is that this Dr. Hume person is a dentist. His doctorate is in dentistry. Not in education, he's "Dr. Hume D.D.S."

He's probably not even "highly qualified" enough to teach at a public school in the States.

"Doctor". Ha!

The only thing more bogus than that would be if you received a honorary doctorate from a private, for-profit university that doesn't even have a doctoral program at any one of its eight campuses in six countries, and you still make people call you "Doctor __ ____".

But nobody would be that foolish.

Would they?

I'd read this somewhere before, and now I see it here again. This article on Dubai's dos and don'ts says while in Dubai not to eat food or accept anything with the left hand. It's rude to the local Emiratis.

Now, as a lefty, most everything I do in life is left-centric. And honestly in my two years in the emirate I never changed any of my eating or drinking habits.

Then again, I never was around many locals - they only make up one-fifth of the population. And the ones I know were in school with me, so we didn't do much eating.

Although during the breaks in class I did hold my Diet Pepsi can with my left hand.

Maybe that's why nobody would talk to me and they all threw things at me and called me names.

Oh wait, no, that wasn't me, I'm confusing my MBA classes with a 1980s John Hughes movie again ...

Hmm.

Uh ...

Chart-topping single smacks of controversy

Yeah, that's all I'm going to say about that.

Hmm.

Uh ...

US publishers cancel book on Prophet Mohammed's wife

Yeah, that's all I'm going to say about that.

Uh oh. Gulf News just told me that Dubai has banned the Bollywood film "God Tussi Great Ho" because it violates Islamic teachings.

Why? Well they tell us:

God Tussi Great Ho is the story of Arun Prajapati (Salman Khan) who loses his balance in life, his job, his girl (Priyanka Chopra) and for all his losses, he blames "god". With all his bickering, "god" decides to meet Arun face to face. He endows Arun with all of his divine powers, challenges Arun to take on the big job and see if he can do it any better.

(The quotation marks, by the way, are all Gulf News).

Um, wasn't this the premise of "Bruce Almighty" like, five years ago?

Man, I think Tom Shadyac gonna sue somebody!

So, for those of you who lived in Dubai in 2003, was "Bruce Almighty" banned, too?

And, more importantly, do you think there'll be a sequel to "God Tussi Great Ho" starring a completely tertiary character who has all of one minute of screen time in the original film? 'Cause that'd be awesome.

Just read a frightening statistic about the United States Postal Service on The Boston Globe's website:

Every penny per gallon increase in gas costs the postal service an additional $8 million a year.

So if the average price of gas goes up, say, 98 cents in the last year ... yeah, you do the math.

Gasoline Prices

The Khaleej Times today reports that the Dubai RTA is sending taxi drivers to school ... where they'll learn about the UAE, its culture, history and heritage.

Personally I would have sent them to school to learn where shit is. I can't count the times I've been in a taxi in Dubai and said "I live near Media City, do you know where that is?"

"Okay no problem."

No.

Problem.

The first time the driver totally missed the exit off of Sheikh Zayed Road. The second through two millionth times I had to say, "turn here! Here! The exit with the sign that says 'Dubai Media City' please! Right now! You're going to miss it!!"

I understand that taxi drivers can't know where everything is (especially since without street names and numbers addresses just don't exist in this emirate). All of the construction doesn't help. But for the love of God, at least learn the major developments (Marina, Media City, the Greens, the Gardens).

But at least now when they miss your exit and take you the long way, the drivers can tell you about culture, history and heritage.

For the Red Sox baseball fans out there, we have a comical interview with new leftfielder Jason Bay over at Yahoo! Sports.

Interesting international article about Boston University (my alma matar) at The Boston Globe today - Foreigners diversify face of BU.

444 incoming Freshmen (what would that be, the Class of 2012?!?) are from foreign countries, which makes them 11% of the graduating class.

That's pretty crazy!

Okay, here's a saucy story for you. Yep, it's another episode of Dubai's People's Court.

These two Brits face up to six years in a Dubai jail (which isn't at all swanky, so I hear) for doing it on the beach.

Obviously parental advisory is recommended.

Couple accused of having sex on Dubai beach 'were just kissing'

I'm glad I'm not their lawyer, because these two are screwed.

Sorry so slow here. Been up on the roof helping finish the de-shingling / metal roof installation. If it were any more interesting than that I'd tell you all about it. But it's kind of not. Looks pretty, though.

Being up on the roof also means that the daily torrential rains have ceased. That's also fun. Granted that's also the reason that the Sea Dogs baseball game was sold out last night. Dang! Just like every other Mainer I really wanted to go and enjoy an evening at the ballpark!

Lastly, I've been looking for jobs. How does "Lead Marketing / Sales Analyst" sound? Too salesy? Maybe. We'll see.

So yeah, more of an update when I have a good story for you ...

Another rainy day in Maine. Nothing new to report.

Check out this article from yesterday: Egypt's ancient pyramids at Giza get makeover.

That's nice. We just were in Cairo in April, and the pyramids were kind of a mess. Well, the pyramids themselves were fantastic - but the surrounding area was budget. While we were there I don't think we uttered words such as "clean" and "beautiful", at least, not without the modifiers "not" or "isn't at all".

Then again, I rather enjoy Disney parks for their cleanliness and efficiency.

Anyway, here is the whole Photo Gallery of our Cairo trip and here are a couple of stragglers I put up at my Flickr gallery.

Odd article at the Gulf News about a stage show based on the Emirati comic book hero Ajaaj.

Ajaaj's power is that of a sandstorm, which he uses to upholds the values of the UAE. He's kind of like one-half of the Wonder Twins, or like that guy from Wings.

Anyway, the book, as well as the stage show, take place in 2020, which I take to assume is when the author guesses all construction will be done in Dubai.

I wonder if it will be?

Oh, and apparently the show is in 4D.

Now, I'm hardly a mathematician or a physicist, but I always thought that the first three dimensions are up/down, left/right and forward/backward, and that the fourth is generally time?

So these guys are telling us that their stage show will consume all three dimensions of physical space, as well as an hour of your life.

Groundbreaking.

Baseball fans alert: Former Boston Globe sportswriter Gordon Edes has made his Yahoo! Sports debut with not one but two columns.

Sure, both are about the Cubs, but still, it's good to read Gordon again.

Okay, this is too goofy to not mention. It's circular, there's no real point, but it's goofy and amuses me.

The Portland, Maine police chief is oddly named Tim Burton, like the famous movie director.

But now he's leaving to go to Odessa, Texas.

Which is where they had that cheerleader die during homecoming two years ago.

Of course I'm talking about that show "Heroes" and Clair the cheerleader who was prophesized to die. You know, "Save the cheerleader, save the world".

Oddly, she was supposed to die on the step-like amphitheater at fictional Union Wells High School in Odessa - which the film student in me would somehow draw allusions to the Odessa steps from Sergei Eisenstein's 1925 silent film The Battleship Potemkin.

But somehow I don't think that "Heroes" creator Tim Kring is that clever, though.

I had a busy day today helping re-roof my parents' cottage up at the lake, around the corner from where we had the wedding. But it reminded me of something that, while not at all related to Dubai, is related to home.

A few weeks before I left Dubai (which was a month ago!) Liz and I finally saw that Frank Darabont movie "The Mist". It's based on a Stephen King novella, I talked about this a bit before (see The Mist trailer).

See, the funny thing is that the main character in the movie (played by Thomas Jane) lives on Long Lake, which runs between the towns of Bridgton and Naples, Maine. And I grew up in Naples and Liz grew up in Bridgton. The supermarket in which the characters are stuck is in Bridgton, and the pharmacy in the story was owned by Liz's friend's father.

Anyway, the flick wasn't shot in Maine, and other than a fleeting mention of CMP the location is rather unconsequential.

In fact, there's nothing at all like Area 51 in the Oxford Hills north of the lake.

There are, however, lakes ... and mist.

Which brings me back to today. Early this morning I drove up to my parents cottage, which is just north of Naples. To get there, I drive the entire length of Long Lake and then into the hills north of the lake.

Exactly where "The Arrowhead Project" takes place in the movie.

Because we've had some cool weather, but today was sunny, all of the lakes along the route were steaming. Like mist.

It was bizarre and cool and, yes, a little scary. I was waiting for a three foot dragonfly to pop out at me. Maybe a tentacle or two.

And that is part of the fun of living in Stephen King's Maine.

Was out with some former work colleagues last night and got to see the majority of the Opening Ceremony for the Beijing Olympics. Elaborate. Very elaborate.

Without sound, however, we were completely lost as to the introduction of the national teams. All we knew that was in no way based on A) alphabetical order, B) size, C) geography.

My friends at wikipedia tell me that the teams entered in the order of the number of strokes in the first character of their name written with Simplified Chinese characters, in the same way words are classified on a standard Chinese dictionary.

Wouldn't have guessed that!

Luckily I got to see the eight athletes from the United Arab Emirates enter:


Included in the delegation for the first time are women - including Sheikh Mo's daughter Sheikha Maitha bint Mohammed bin Rashid al Maktoum, who will compete in taekwondo.


And then the five-or-six-hundred Americans:


Ooh look, Laura woke up George and told him to put on his sportcoat. How nice.


And then we cut back to a few hundred more Americans:


Sadly in their broadcast NBC had to cut to commercials, and apparently Beijing didn't stop the parade of nations every seven minutes. So a few countries got the short end of the stick, a hasty edit of "this is what you missed when we were showing you endless promos for The Office, ER and Chuck".

But America - I swear we saw every single athlete up close and personal. And then when other countries were still pouring in we cut away to the holding tank where the American athletes are just standing around. Look! LeBron James is in a suit! And Kobe Bryant is standing next to him! Yay America!

What did the Muppets' Sam Eagle say in the MuppetVision 3D show? "It's a three hour salute to all nations - but mostly America."

Yep.

So we've yet to announce (i.e. figure out) what will replace Newlywed in Dubai once Liz gets back to Maine. "Married in Maine", while technically correct, is a little boring of a title. Whatever happens, we'll likely have more of a Maine focus, though.

So let's start this off (and help remind me during this week-long rainstorm) of more of the good things in Maine.

Apparently GQ Magazine says that the best margarita in the US is in Brunswick, Maine.

Odd.

The rest of the list seems on the up-and-up, though. Martini from Hollywood, Mint Julep from Savannah, Mai Tai from Honolulu, Gin and Tonic from Block Island.

How about that?

You know, maybe a margarita's what I need to get over these rainy days ...

So this is pretty cool - in catching up with American friends, I had an e-mail from my former boss at Disney who's now a writer. He just went to China (timely!) and apparently wrote the entire current issue of Scientific American. Check it out:

Can Coal and Clean Air Coexist in China?

China's Big Push for Renewable Energy

The Price of Gas in China

Smoky Home: Cleaning Up Indoor Air with Human Waste

Back to the Future: Harnessing the Power of the Yangtze River [Slide Show]

Right now Weather.com says that it's 59 degrees out in Maine. (That's 15°C, for those of you who don't do Fahrenheit, which is most of you).

Anyway, this is by far the coldest that our cat from Dubai, Kitty, has ever seen.

Before this the coldest he'd ever been was when we were in Dubai, and Liz or I might turn the AC down to 70 if we were really hot.

The problem is, in the month of January the average high temperature here is 28°F (-2°C) and the average low is 2°F (-17°C). The record low? -35°F (-37°C).

So Kitty, it's only going to get much, much worse.

Poor guy.

So I finally was able to develop the slides I took in Cairo, Egypt some odd three months ago.

Check them out at my Flickr gallery.

AdWeek reports on a fancy bit of guerrilla marketing on the part of ESPN last week.

After the Manny Ramírez trade on Thursday ESPN's marketing company blitzed lost socks around LA - "nearly every Laundromat in Los Angeles county had at least one ‘Lost Red Sock.’"

Clever.

Also, and I didn't realize this, Gordon Edes' reporting of Manny changing his mind was his last piece for The Boston Globe. Edes is going to Yahoo! Sports, where the insightful and funny Jeff Passan already writes. Good for Yahoo! and bad for the Globe ...

Right now it's about 5 pm on Monday in Maine (where I am), and 1 am on Tuesday in Dubai (where Liz is).

Tuesday is our 2nd wedding anniversary.

It's not ideal that we're apart on our anniversary, it's a little sad, but we're okay with it. Our separation could be much longer, or with less communication. We really have it pretty good, all things considered.

Still, it'd be nice to be able to go to dinner and celebrate together.

But we will in a few weeks.

So Liz, I love you. Happy Anniversary!

How did this one slip by me? On Sunday His Highness Sheikh Mohammed Bin Rashid Al Maktoum, Vice-President and Prime Minister of the United Arab Emirates and Ruler of Dubai came to Camp David to meet with Still-President Bush.

You might remember that Bush was in the UAE back in January, when he caused complete and utter havoc in Dubai (see George W Bush Public Holiday and The Aftermath of George W Bush).

Anyway, here's a photo of the two. It's always weird for me to see Sheikh Mo in Western clothes, not wearing his traditional dishdash robes. He's not nearly as regal when he's in a powder-blue sport jacket.


Oddly, Bush spent most of the weekend at his family's summer home in Kennebunkport, Maine - which is about an hour south of me right now.

If only he'd invited Sheikh Mo to the summer house! Granted, lobsters are haraam, but HH could have at least had a s'more ...

(Photo Credit: Yuri Gripas for Reuters)

Today, the darker side of being at home.

Now, I don't want you to think that my three weeks of being at home have been all rainbows and lollipops. Sure, it's been a blast to be home with my brother, parents and little cousins, and catch up with the random high school friends.

For example, last weekend was Casco Days - the local weekend festival of our neighboring town Casco. Over there I ran into two friends from Junior High and High School. Funny story - she actually was the love of my eighth grade year. I finally worked up the nerve to ask her out in ninth grade, this was back in 1990. I came so close on Christmas Eve, but chickened out. At the time we were in the same Confirmation class (a dark time in my life I don't generally speak of), and were having a churchy party on New Years' Eve. I figured that I could steel my resolve, screw my courage to its sticking place, and ask her on December 31.

But somehow my buddy Chris beat me to it and asked her out in the week between the holidays.

Anyway, they got married in 1999. They have two beautiful kids, both as red-headed as the day is long.

It was fun to see them and their family, and think that one day I might be so lucky as to have two beautiful kids like that.

Or like the other day, when I spoke with my high school girlfriend for two hours on the phone (yes, Liz did not seem impressed when I told her about it). Granted, she's going on her second maternity leave on Monday, so at this point I think we can let the past be the past.

Either way, we had a great chat about raising a family, and what our hopes and dreams for our kids are. And although we haven't talked much in the last decade, there's really nobody who knows the adolescent me like she does. Shit, I don't even remember things that she remembers. And at this point we can pretty much forget the whole “who broke up with whom” or “just when did we break up and you guys start dating” little problems that we faced back in 1996. (Although I swear I'm still in the right, but just don't tell her, okay?)

But there have been a few dark rain clouds since I've been back – both figuratively and literally.

This weekend one of my very good friends - again from Junior High and High School - came to visit. Actually for just about 30 hours.

Now, this one buddy has always been particularly stubborn, pig-headed. But somehow I always let this slide.

But this time, well, he certainly rubbed me the wrong way. Maybe it's the fact that he's been living in the South for the last six years. Maybe it's the fact that he's not doing as well financially or romantically as some of the rest of us. Maybe he's just always been a king asshole and I've been an apologist for him.

But dammit if I could barely stand to be in the same room with him at points. All of a sudden he comes out blaming “The Mexicans” for all of America's problems, or when he went off of Al Gore calling him “an idiot” who “has interns to do all of his research”.

What, was Earth in the Balance ghostwritten by some 19 year old Georgetown undergrad?

Did Rush Limbaugh give you all of these flawed talking points?

Sadly this chucklehead forgets that I lived in Los Angeles for six years, and that the California non-Hispanic white population has been under the 50% mark since sometime in 1999.

I lived with Hispanic people: I knew Hispanic people; Dude, you don't know Hispanic people.

But my telling him that Hispanics make up a third of California's population was kind of like telling Dick Cheney that he has a gay daughter so grow up and deal with it. It registers on some level, but the synapses just don't fire ask quickly to get real cognizance.

Granted, as long as we weren't talking politics, religion or war we had fun. We played four holes of mini-golf in the day and a half we were together. It was like old times.

Then he'd whip out his South Carolina permit for concealed weapons, and the whole conversation would be shot.

Thank Christ we never got around to talking about the 2008 Presidential election, or it might have come to blows.

I hate to say it, but other than mini-golf and our shared experiences in school and Boy Scouts I don't have a hell of a lot in common with this dude anymore.

Is that normal? Is that how friendships go? I guess it's been fourteen years after we last really hung out, sixteen years after we skipped Junior Prom to see the theatrical-release of the God-awful Surf Ninjas (at the time I was on a sabbatical from the previously-mentioned high school girlfriend).

Are we done? Are we that different? Have we diverged from the same point so drastically that I can't even be friends with this fool?

That kind of sucks, but then again, I've gained so many friends in the past two years in Dubai that losing one old friend might not be so bad.

Is it?

So I don't know what feels better, the fact that new Red Sox left-fielder Jason Bay hit a three run homer tonight, or the fact that Boston Globe reporter Gordon Edes is reporting that former Red Sox left-fielder Manny Ramírez lobbied to stay in Boston after informed of his trade.

Edes has my vote for a Pulitzer Prize, if I get a vote.

Anyway, here are a few more articles about Manny, if you're not sick to death of them already:

Sean McAdams reports that Red Sox veterans pretty much voted Manny off of the island.

Gerry Callahan of the lesser Boston Herald sums up the entire fiasco in his title "No Dodging it: Manny Ramirez just a bad, bad man".

He starts his article with a story about 32 cancer surviving kids being snubbed by Manny, and then it really goes downhill. Key phrases include "hard-hitting half-wit", "rotten human being", "spoiled child" and "Ramirez represents the worst of professional sports", Gosh, Mr Callahan, what do you really think?

Bill Plaschke of Manny's new hometown Los Angeles Times recounts the first "Manny Being Manny" event of his Los Angeles career ... Manny going AWOL.

Plaschke's best line? "A guy who occasionally swings like Babe Ruth and is consistently as nutty as a Baby Ruth."

Lastly, Mike Lupica of the New York Daily News has to rain on my parade with this assumption of where Manny will play next year. And sadly, I agree with him. What other team in baseball is rich and foolish enough to sign Manny in 2009?

The New York Yankees.

Ugh.

I realize that a good chunk of the artwork (including the title above) is missing - we're having technical difficulties. Please stand by.

Those of you only half paying attention to the Boston Red Sox might not have heard that Manny Ramírez was traded yesterday afternoon. Those of you only half paying attention to me here might not have read that I had a hand in this (see Shipping up to Boston).

While I generally don't recommend that anyone read Dan Shaughnessy in the Boston Globe (he who coined "The Curse of the Bambino" to make, well, coin on books). But tooday Shaughnessy has a good column "Going, going, gone".

And here's The Globe's Amalie Benjamin to tell us about new Red Sox leftfielder Jason Bay - "Hollywood ending".

I know they're trying to play up the differences, but man does this British Columbian sound down-to-earth and normal. And not just compared to Manny - possibly the weirdest human on the planet - Bay just sounds all around normal.

Hopefully he can hit ...